Amorevolezza. Did you know what happened when I felt all down? [At Seminary] I step into my rooms and there, they were, a new package of my favorite cookies. I had to guess it had been my spiritual father(b). I learned that, and did the same with the boys I had to care for.

Amorevolezza is the little, unexpected toy; the right word at the right time, an ear eager to listen, an open lap, it’s the “job well done” and, specially, the “I still trust in you”, the “not so random” act of kindness. If all this seems motherly enough, you are in the good track.

A motherly trick.

The idea comes from a poor, ignorant widow who lived in a hamlet in 19 century northern Italy. Her struggles, as most of unsung heroines, was almost forgotten. One of her sons, then a priest, asked his aging mother to come and help at his new school-refuge-church. This small old woman came, and stayed for ten years, caring for dozens of street children until her death. Her name was Mother Margheretta.

And remember no washing machines. No ADD medications either, no specialists. She had to use lots of patience and some of her own mother tricks.

Not just for mothers.

Amorevolezza is a trick open to everybody, children to parent, parent to children, friend to friend, stranger to stranger, co-worker to co-worker…

Step 1: Watch

This is the main difference between a RAOK (Randon Act Of Kindness) and Amorevolezza. You have watched the person and you have a reasonable idea of what he or she wants or needs. What does she speak about? What does he day dreams? What pics are in his computer, or on her binder? It takes a little observation.

Note: Messing with somebody’s diary - private stuff is still wrong.

Step 2 Think

First you have guessed -as much as this is possible- what somebody wants or needs. Now try to turned it into something physical. It needs not to be expensive, just concrete. A hug is free and almost so a breakfast in bed. Write a note: “Thanks dad”, give a complement slip, hand out bookmarks. Amorevolezza can come handy in this time of finantial crisis.

Step 3 Act

If possible, let they never find out. Be the Zorro and Spiderman. The focus here is to make somebody feel loved, to let them re-discover they are loved. Not to put yourself over anybody.

Have your “amorevolezza stuff” ready. Keep a supply of sugar-free gums or fancy bookmarks or some present wrapping paper. A bit of work and you can transform anything into a treat.

Don’t link it to anything, but have some schedule. For example, when I was a postulant (priest wannabe) I delivered some gum to my colleges (kids of 17 ) ALMOST every Thursday and always every week.

Last but not least, do not ever forget anybody.

I feel this is enough for my intelligent readers. In fact, I think I can expect some valuable additions in the form of comments. So see you again on Friday, when I will be sharing my preliminary report on the Todoodle productivity system.

This entry is from my main blog at Eldietario.com

In a few years I’d might have to add to my own children “or getting in shape”. Speaking about healthy habits is becoming controversial. See, for example, two sensible opinions: Alex Shalman in his guest post at Zen Habits and Erin Doland’s “Uncluttering and weight loss” on Unclutterer. I’m guessing it is because of that E word that healthy habits share with politics and religion: Ethics. When was the last time you enjoyed being judged? Have not you ever try to give a good advice which was taken in the worst possible light?

I will deal with it in a future post. As for now, let me tell you that all of us share some responsability for our health. True, we are bombarded with fast food, new tv shows; children are promised to be popular by eating some new pseudo-chocolate snack; healthy food tends to be more expensive. True, marketing experts know their trade; Believing your will is immune to advertising is dangerous for your finances and health. True, some people have a natural advantage in getting fat more easily; which was probably useful during the ice age. That is all true, and we need and are able to take care of it.

However, this post is about what we can do at the individual level. And the good news are: yes, getting organized can help you get fit.

Keep reading it in eldietario.com, my main blog.